When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
So I guess I’m giving it up.
I’m sick of trying. I’m sick of ripping my own head off just to see him. Why can’t he fucking do anything? Anything?
It’s his turn to run after this desperately and scream at everyone close to him when it doesn’t fucking work because of the person that he needs to be around so he doesn’t go crazy. I’m done. I’m moving on.
Every fucking week I over-exhaust myself just to stare at him for a few seconds and I start to feel like a stalker and it just never gets me anywhere. Why can’t he just say one. tiny. fucking. word? I’ve done my part and over the last year I’ve been through too much for anyone to expect me to do more and I fucking know how he feels about me.
I know it’s probably never going to work because I can’t let something like this go but I’ll try to forget about it now. Get over it and blame it all on him.
I’m not acting on this anymore, it’s up to him now. I’ve tried. Over and over and I don’t even know where I’ve gotten the strength to do it from.
I know he loves me and if he doesn’t realise how fucking much I need him around, it’s his fault.
The fact that I’m only thinking this because I’m still hoping for everything to turn out okay is so fucking pathetic. And here I was, thinking I wasn’t naive enough to keep my optimism anymore.
God, how I hate my life.
